A Sunday Drive

The back story:

Grant has formed a new habit over the last few months: endlessly arguing. He's very contrary for the sake of being contrary. He wants to do the opposite of whatever we're doing and especially hates going to school and church. Let me re-phrase that: he hates being told to get ready for church/school. He loves it when he's there, but the transition is a nightmare. So here's a typical "getting ready for school" exchange:

Mom: "Grant, it's time to get ready for school."

Grant (immediately crying and whining): "AHHHHhhhhh! I don't want to go to school! NO no no no no!!" He screams so more and runs from the room.

Mom: "Grant, NOW!" I follow him and tell him to stop.

Grant (indignantly): "I will NOT go to school!" His voice raises with every word, until he reaches a screeching "NOOOOO!"

Mom (losing patience): "You will NOT use that mean voice, now get over here and get ready."

Grant (loses the mean voice, now switches to an under the breath, very decisive): "I will NOT go to school".

Mom: "Yes you will."

Grant (still in the under the breath voice, but ratcheting up: "I will NOT!"

This exchange can go on forever, with Grant's "I will NOT" ranging from quiet and under the breath, to shrill screaming and crying. I continue with my reply of "yes, you will" and my own voice ranges from calm answers to louder responses. Finally, I give up. Of course, during the argument, Grant has gotten his shoes on, etc and is now ready to go out the door. We get in the car and he's fine, goes to school where he's happy all day, and we repeat the exercise as soon as he's off the bus. He doesn't want to watch a show, or go in the back yard, go potty, eat pizza, or whatever the heck it is. We have tried to ignore these outbursts, or give him time outs, but nothing seems to work. Mostly we have tried to not engage in the 5 year old, "I won't, you will", exchanges. We're hoping this stage will work itself out somehow. And you needed to know all of that before you could hear this story:

We are leaving church on Sunday. Grant is really happy, he says he had fun at church and learned about Jesus. Everyone is happy until we get half way home. Then Grant realizes the worst case scenario (typically the opposite of whatever we're doing): we are going home.

Grant: "I want to go to George Washington's house right now!" (He's been disappointed for a week now that we couldn't go to Mt. Vernon due to rain)

Mom: "No, we need to go to our house right now. Hayden is tired and he needs a nap."

Grant, screeching: "No! I go to George Washington's house! I go to the backyard!"

Mom: "No Grant, it's Sunday, we can't play outside. And it's too muddy outside anyway."

Grant, indignantly: "It's NOT too muddy."

Blake, from the backseat says happily and quite matter of factly: "Grant, we can't go outside, it's too muddy."

Grant: "No, it's not muddy!"

"Yes, it's too muddy...No, it's not muddy!!...yes Grant, it is too muddy...No! NO! NNOOO! IT'S NOT TOO MUDDY!!!" Grant's volume reaches sonic-boom level as Blake happily and simply keeps answering: "Yes Grant, it's too muddy". By now Erica and I are laughing like crazy, wondering which of the boys will give up first. Each time we think Blake will give it up, he keeps on going. It falls quiet....

Grant: "Go in the backyard!"

Blake: "Grant, you can't go in the back yard."

Blake: "It's too muddy."

The conversation has reached miraculous levels at this point. Grant and Blake have never carried a back and forth conversation this long in their whole lives. Erica and I keep laughing as we near the house. We turn into Cannon Ridge, Grant is now using the quiet, under-the-breath voice to say: "I go into the backyard." Blake is beginning to lose his patience, furrowing his little brow: "No Grant, it's too muddy". We park in front of the house. The boys race each other to get out of the car: "Backyard!!" says Grant. "It's too muddy!", says Blake. We walk to the door.

Grant runs in, throwing off his shoes and collapsing on the couch crying, and yells out one final "Baaaackyaaaaard!!!" Blake calmly walks into the house and says: "No Grant, we can't play in the backyard, it's too muddy," and scurries off to play.